TranslatingRitaSophie

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WWWBT 6 :) -Where Lara is intrigued that the CF guy hasn’t kissed the WWBT and Luca wants to go to the Zoo

Writing about CF, having lived it already, is funnier than I anticipated. Lara is suddenly all literary criticism:

‘Why hasn’t he kissed you???? You should have said he’d kissed you!!! Come on, you want to please your readers… don’t you?’

 In that moment I’m not sure whom I want to please, or if I want to please anyone at all. Well, maybe myself!

‘Ok, next time have him catch you in the showers. Rip off your wet T shirt! Action, woman, action!’

We’re sitting on the floor in my living room and checking the texts before I upload them on WordPress. With some beer, of course!

Luca is in the kitchen, preparing some macaroni and cheese that he knows I cannot eat; it’s not part of the CF diet.

He hasn’t shaved in more than a week, and he looks like a monk: hirsute, slim and blue eyed.

‘I don’t think he’s real’, he says in a deep, considered voice.

Lara turns to look at him.

‘What do you mean he’s not real?’

‘If he were real, why wouldn’t she tell him how she felt about him?’

Lara sips her beer, watching. Men these days! Ok, not all men, just Luca, cooking macaroni and cheese in my kitchen.

‘Luca, let me explain something to you! In matters of lust, words can be real killers.’

‘Oh, sorry, this is just simple lust then?’

He’s being ironic, but after a few beers I deem him medically unfit to dispense irony. I feel a strong urge to go and kick his ass, but instead I just breathe it all in and drink more beer.

‘Well, we’ll leave the T shirt ripping for later on, shall we?’

I stand up and go to the kitchen. I peel a carrot and start to crunch it, simultaneously inhaling the appetizing smell of the melted cheese with a painful desire… is it hunger? Just another wanton lust? Or is it the idea that I’ll never have macaroni and cheese ever again? The forbidden apple… I’m a strong woman, come on, I can fight the temptation, the carrot is better… More beer.  Important to maintain a sense of balance after all. Now who’s being ironic? A hint of a smile rises at the corners of my mouth.

‘How about you go to a hotel somewhere, and you meet him there?’

Lara’s still trying to save the day. Luca bursts into what I’d call nervous laughter. But why?

‘Ladies, dinner is served!’

He comes in with two red plates of steaming macaroni, gives one to Lara and starts eating from the second one. I’m still crunching my carrot. Trying to look nonchalant. Feels like I’m failing.  Or maybe I’m falling… for someone?

‘How about we go to the zoo?’ he says, his mouth full of macaroni.

Lara and I look at him incredulously. The way I imagine I would look if the CF guy suddenly turned up on my doorstep one morning, milk and newspapers in hand.

I was saying at the beginning of this diary, or whatever this is, that I ‘collect’ men. Notice the inverted commas. I like this one, and that one, I like Aragorn from Lord of the Rings, and Luca, and the CF guy, and Luke Skywalker from Star Wars. Additions to my collection. So many in fact that, at one point, my girlfriends started complaining that they had lost track. I promised to draw them a chart – to help them keep up!

‘There are zebras at the zoo, right?’ He asks as if it really matters. Somehow I think not.

His voice is tired, but I sense a warmth emanating from him: ephemeral, but still somehow tangible. I like it. Not sure why. But it feels appropriate right then and there. No need to pick over the fine details. He wants to see the zebras and I would be a selfish bitch if I didn’t grant him his wish, allow him this small pleasure. Now, all I have to do is convince Lara that going to the zoo is as fun as fantasizing about sex in a hotel with the CF guy. Well, I can never resist a challenge…

(text supervised and ‘approved’ by my good friend, Luca! Find his words amongst mine)

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