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Archive for the month “October, 2011”


(haiku attempt)


Tears kept rolling

Into solitude

And I died so I can resurrect tomorrow


Thoughts have dissolved

Into oblivion

You’ll never make me cry in this lifetime!


I’m not a drama queen

Just my soul is white

Like the one’s of the mourning queens.


Time’s stopped tonight

into the candles flickering

and you’ve been erased from me.


Alice crying…

I thought
that fairytales can be real
but I came back, painfully,
to the real world
like in MATRIX.

and the yellow brick road
now, it’s just all the muds
crucified on the raining skies…

Alice cried
till all the buterflies in her frontal bone
when she soothed
their wooden bodies

the black velvet
I sticked in my heart
just to have a reason
to bleed…
maybe next time…

(remember Alice in Wonderland? This time she got lost in Oz land… )

How to confuse a blonde at 3 o’clock in the morning, the Easter Sunday

Fast forward: you make her park her car in a totally stranger neighbourhood, the streets and u-turns are all the same; fill her up with some traditional Easter dishes, 3 of them, two glasses of water, and then let her leave, 3 am, all alone and dreaming to a nice glass of wine….
The blonde leaves very confident, whirling her car keys around her fingers, very confident, walks the first corner and… SUPRISE!!! The car is not there!
Ok! What does a blonde do when she doesn’t find her car in a place it’s never been? She panics, of course! She starts walking around the neighbourhood – please don’t forget it’s 3 am, I’m tired, I wanna lie down on my soffa, enjoying that glass of wine…
Oh, well… It’s not there, it’s not there either… I give up and I call my friends, I hope they will really appreciate the early walk, after all, it’s not healthy to go to bed after such a heavy meal!
“It must be somewhere near the main road, I remember I could see those buildings over there…” Just an attempt to look brown-haired!
“Well, if you know you parked it at the main rod, you should have followed the main road till you find it”, says my friend. Absolutely right!
My little red car is just one block away now, I can see it, so now I can let my friends go to bed, after properly apologizing. It was a long day!
Christ is Risen! Indeed, He is Risen!


‘That’s all I think about these days. Must be because I have so much time to kill every day. When you don’t have anything to do, your thoughts go really, really far out – so far out you can’t follow them all the way to the end.’ *
I always envied Murakami’s characters. More or less, they were very much like me, it’s only that they ended up expressing their feelings and thoughts much better than me. Yeah, Murakami is a far much better storyteller than my muse.
For example, I always fancied about meeting Watanabe**. Don’t know if I’d fallen for him, I was kind of shallow when it comes to guys, they would have to be primarily handsome, and, on the other hand, I always pictured Watanabe very skinny and not at all my type.
But he would still make an excellent companion for my lonely days. Right, my nights are also lonely, but then I’d read and think of what I’d talk to Watanabe the next day.
On the other hand, he gets to have three women in NORWEGIAN WOOD. So there must be something more to it than just a skinny guy, and even if he was not my type, you can never know… Anyway!
Watanabe would sit on one of the two stools I’d got from Kasia and eat almonds. I know he’d like a beer, but I quit drinking and… Still, I could offer him some whiskey. He’d drink it and tell me that my hair is like a lonely yellow field of wheat, where two turtles and an opossum had lost their way and now they’re just writing down their will, cause there’s no way out of the lonely yellow field of wheat. Yeah, that would be Watanabe!


* H Murakami – The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle
** Main character of Murakami’s Norwegian Wood.


Today I’ve began to measure my love
as if they’d invented special barometers for that!
And I bet that if there were thermometers for that
I should call an ambulance for sure.

Today I felt as if I’d been drowned into you just for a second
for I had totally forgotten how it feels to be crazy in love
and how about lifeguards in Bucharest?

And I know you’ll leave me some day
but I love you now and if tomorrow I cry
for sure I’ll find a place to buy a handkerchief.

Glenfiddich mood

I stopped the Time
so I can taste you
just as you were
so vaguely…
out of nowhere
out of forgotten kisses
Ha! Where?

I grabbed a chair
sit on it
for, damn it!
I cannot write no simple poem
and it seems I forgot
how you smell
and what’s the color
of your cigarette smoke.

Let’s talk about…

She lit a small chocolate cigar and, sipping some whiskey, she thought it would be nice to write about him.
They had virtually met in a mIRC room and talked for hours. He’d told her he was tall, blue-eyed and shy. She hadn’t told him too much about her, what’s to say, anyway? Oh, yeah, she’d said she liked Mozart. Very funny!
Though, there was something there, like some sort of a chemistry between them, thousands of kilometres long chemistry…
S: ‘How was your day?’
M: ‘Not bad… Saw some turtles in the afternoon. They were having coffee in the middle of the highway. Almost knocked them over… What a place to have coffee at! Or in? These prepositions… Quite a headache, don’t you think?’
She kept silent. Actually, she kept her fingers above the keyboard and her skull was full of words, meaningless ideas, colours and regrets, but she didn’t type anything.
S: ‘Have you asked them their names?’
She had to say something… It was not very polite to keep silent for too long. He might have gone away, idle…
He smiled. Typed a smiley… Like this: 🙂 She smiled too, she could almost see his eyes smiling….
M: ‘Oh, no. They were talking about seagulls. Fascinating topic, if you ask me!’
And he talked about seagulls for hours. She read, and read, and read, the guy was an encyclopaedia!! Or, a very good listener, with a good memory!
Then she went to bed, tired and somehow wiser as far as seagulls are concerned.
The pillow was smelling nice, that conditioner they were advertising was really good!
The book was boring, besides, she could not think of anything else but seagulls. And his eyes she’d never seen.
And then she remembered she was sitting on a bench, in a park, with long and misty alleys. Just sitting there, doing nothing, as if she was waiting for someone, or something to happen, or someone to say something…
And then there was no more bench, and no more park, and no more alleys, just mist, warm and silent mist. So silent she could hear him breathing.
And then, out of nowhere, there he was! In front of her! He stayed so close to her she could feel his warm breathing soothing her cheeks. He smelled of something, could not remember precisely of what, maybe a vague cigarette smoke, maybe some nice perfume, she could not say for sure, but no, it was not the smell that made her warm up as if electrified. He did not touch her, he was just breathing in front of her, very close to her, still, she could not see his eyes…
M: ‘When a woman is telling you she’s sleeping, don’t believe her!’
His words were warm. And sweet. They kissed her lips.
M (whispering): ‘She’s just about to wake up!’
And the alarm clock went on! Louder and louder and she was dragged out of the mist, far away from him…
What a stupid dream!!! She did not even kiss him properly!

Let’s bring up dreams

Last time I’ve counted my dreams
There were only two left alive,
Gasping for air, like fish on the sand:
To fly up, over the world… somehow…
And to find you!

I don’t know what’s your hair style
Or if you brush your teeth three times per day
But I know you just love my smile
Or my small Desert rains
As for the rest… we’ll just see!

But till I find you,
I talk about you with my cat every evening
About your inner light
And how I’m gonna spoil you with breakfast in bed
And how we’re going to bring up dreams
Till the end of Time and back….


Tuesday was the perfect day
To bang one’s head
against the walls,
against the tears,
against the silence…

Tuesday, for me, at least,
it rains cats and dogs,
and it’s foggy,
and it’s cold,
and it’s silent…

This particular Tuesday,
quite like all the others, actually,
I couldn’t smile / see
I couldn’t see / feel
I coulnd’t be / speak…

This Tuesday, though,
You smiled at me,
And I could see the Sun
And I found myself…


Don’t think
I don’t know what your eyes are saying
I haven’t had the time to learn their language.

And if I miss
one single smile of yours
Feel free
to get upset and not talk to me for a week!

And sometime
I have this feeling we are the perfect strangers
But only if we knew
we have common roots…
we’d cry!

(9 May 2010)

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